Melvin Feller MA Looks at Why being Right is so Important?
Melvin Feller MA Looks at Why being Right is so Important?
Melvin Feller is known as “The Entrepreneur’s Mentor” because Melvin walks his talk. Melvin Feller has been there and done that and more importantly, Melvin Feller knows how to transfer the skillset for success. This is main reason that he has been the sought after coach to hundreds of small business owners, entrepreneurs, Realtors, Real estate investors and service professional internationally. Melvin Feller’s main talent is to show you how the step by step process to build and enjoy a successful 6-figure plus business while having a balanced life. Melvin Feller is currently pursuing another graduate degree as an MBA.You are a human and so am I. There is no argument there. The sky is blue and the grass is green. There is no argument there either. After all, they are FACTS, and we are all in agreement with them. However, why do so many of us have a need to ‘right’ regarding OPINIONS? Another driver cutting him off outrages a man driving in LA. In his opinion, the driver who cut him off is unbearably rude. “I’ll show him,” he thinks, as he now tries to cut off the ‘rude’ driver. This incident explodes into a full-blown case of road rage, which leads to an accident and the death of the outraged driver. He might have been ‘right,’ but now he is dead right. Does it make any sense to fight to the death over an opinion? Besides, how could the dead driver be ‘right’ when his behavior was wrong?
Some of us get easily upset in the workplace. We insist that others do things the ‘right’ (our) way. Yet, isn’t it more important to do the right thing than do things right? The high divorce rate suggests that married life is another arena for the clash of opinion. Something as trivial as how one’s spouse s squeezes the tube of toothpaste is enough to cause anger in some people.
There are many reasons to give up our addiction to being ‘right.’ First, consider what we are doing when we make pronouncements that you are either for me or against me, or that it’s my way or the highway, or that I’m ‘right ’ and you’re ‘wrong.’ Aren’t we being arrogant, combative, self-righteous, presumptuous, judgmental, narrow-minded, and alienating? Aren’t such attitudes divisive and dysfunctional? Don’t they disrupt harmony and peace and lead to conflict and suffering?
To be dead right is to be dead. To be cut off from the limitless wealth of life. It is also to be unhappy. For it is impossible to control the thoughts and opinions in the minds of others. So, when they fail to live up to our demand for agreement, we feel frustrated and disappointed. Does it make any sense to follow the road to unhappiness?
However, we are not our opinions. We are people who hold opinions and can let them go if we choose to. When we learn from others, we do not lose our identity; we expand, enhance, and enrich it. A third reason for wanting to be ‘right’ is low self-esteem. Some need to show off their ‘superiority’ to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. They are afraid of appearing stupid and need the approval of others. Nevertheless, the way to grow superior is by opening one’s mind, not by closing it.
To awaken from the delusion that our opinion is the only ‘right’ one, all one has to do is study history and the evolution of science. For when we do, we will quickly learn that we are fallible creatures. Even the brightest minds changed their opinions on innumerable occasions. In fact, that is how they grew so bright, by integrating opinions that at first appeared diametrically opposed. In addition, by willingly adding the opinions of others to their own. They were not afraid of accepting new ideas and making mistakes.
When the populace of a certain village were evenly divided on the ‘right’ way to punish a disobedient child, they decided to seek council with the village elder. The representative for Opinion A gave his view to the elder. As the others listened in silence, the elder spoke, “You are right.”
While maintaining his decorum, but visibly upset, the representative for Opinion B said, “But Wise One, you have given your counsel before hearing from me!” He then shared his opinion with the elder. After listening to it, the Wise One said, “You are right.”
“But, Honorable One,” protested another villager, “you have just agreed with two opposing viewpoints!”
We can never be right until we realize everyone is right. The truth is owned by none and shared by all. Whether you agree with this or not, “You are right.”
That is the great thing about business. We can all agree and if we do not we start a way to create something for people that require something different!
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